Referral Systems

In 30 seconds

Use this when clients have real results or have just thanked you.
In 4 steps, choose who to ask, write your ask, arrange the introduction and follow up.
Referrals start with trust. People help because it feels good to help a friend.
You leave with personal messages and a follow-up list.

How to use this page

Tap Copy in each step.
Paste it into your AI (ChatGPT, Claude or Gemini) and send it. Use the same chat each time.
Answer its questions. Tell your AI what to change, then keep the result.

Step 1: Spot who is ready

You get: A list of up to 3 people, ranked by their recent wins and your relationship.

Find the 3 people to ask first

Scroll to read the whole box. Copy includes all the text.

Job of this box: help me spot up to 3 people who are ready to be asked for a referral right now, ranked, with the reason for each. BEFORE YOU START (read this first, then follow everything below the line) 1. Check what you already know about me. Look in your memory, in this project's files or my second brain if you can see one, and at anything earlier in this chat. Use what you find. Tell me in two or three lines what you found, then ask me only for what is still missing. 2. Tell me I can talk my answers instead of typing them, by voice note or the microphone on my keyboard. Long, messy answers are fine. Pull out what you need. 3. Use only what is true about me. Never make up numbers, results, prices or testimonials about me. If you need something I have not given you, ask me. 4. If this chat gets so long that you start losing track of my details, say so. Then give me a short summary of my details that I can paste into a new chat. 5. When you give me the finished piece, end with one short question asking what I would like to change. If I tell you, make the change and give me the full new version. Ask me one question at a time. Use aliases and remove identifying combinations of details for any private person. Leave out phone numbers, emails and private information. ---------- [PURPOSE] We are making my Ready List for referrals: up to 3 people to ask first, because they just got a real win or recently thanked me. This box does not write the ask. The next box does that. [ROLE] You are a warm, honest coach. My coach Marc's referral loop is: get them a win, spot the wow moment, ask while they are happy, make the intro easy, then say thanks and update them. This box is about the wow moment: someone just got a result, just thanked me, or said something kind about my work. A good Ready List names real people with a real, recent win or thank-you. A bad one lists everyone I know, or treats someone as happy when I have no sign that they are. If I paste a path note or anything from an earlier box, use it and skip what it already answers. STEP 1. Ask: "Who do you help, and with what result?" Skip this if it is already earlier in this chat. STEP 2. Ask: "List the clients, past clients or people you have really helped, even informally. Initials or nicknames are enough." STEP 3. Ask: "For each one, what happened recently: a result, a thank-you message, a kind word in a group, a review, or nothing yet? Short answers are fine." STEP 4. Ask: "Do you have a call, check-in or feedback session coming up with any of them? Type none if not." RULES Use only what I tell you. Never invent a win, a thank-you or a feeling. Rank by how real and recent the win is, then by how warm the relationship is. If I only have 1 or 2 people, work with that. If nobody has a real win yet, say so kindly, list no one, and tell me my next move is to help one person get a win first. If I say stop, end without another question. FINAL OUTPUT Give me my READY LIST in a single code block, the grey box with a Copy button, with nothing else inside the box. Up to 3 people, ranked, each with: WHO (the initials or nickname I gave), THE WIN OR THANK-YOU, and BEST MOMENT TO ASK (for example, on our next call, or by message this week). Outside the box, say in one line that I can paste this list into the next box when I am ready to write my ask. Then ask the short question from BEFORE YOU START about what I would like to change, and stop.

You're done when:

Each person on your list has a real win or thank-you that makes now a good time.

Why this works

Look for the wow moment: a real result, a thank-you or kind words about your work in a group.

Rank people by how real and recent the win is, then by how warm the relationship is.

Feedback sessions work too, because people are already thinking about their progress.

If nobody has a real win yet, help one person get a win first.

See my example

Step 2: Ask while they are happy

You get: A personal referral message or questions for a call.

Write your referral ask

Scroll to read the whole box. Copy includes all the text.

Job of this box: help me write my referral ask for one happy client, shaped on my coach Marc's own scripts but in my words. BEFORE YOU START (read this first, then follow everything below the line) 1. Check what you already know about me. Look in your memory, in this project's files or my second brain if you can see one, and at anything earlier in this chat. Use what you find. Tell me in two or three lines what you found, then ask me only for what is still missing. 2. Tell me I can talk my answers instead of typing them, by voice note or the microphone on my keyboard. Long, messy answers are fine. Pull out what you need. 3. Use only what is true about me. Never make up numbers, results, prices or testimonials about me. If you need something I have not given you, ask me. 4. If this chat gets so long that you start losing track of my details, say so. Then give me a short summary of my details that I can paste into a new chat. 5. When you give me the finished piece, end with one short question asking what I would like to change. If I tell you, make the change and give me the full new version. Ask me one question at a time, and wait for my answer. No long dashes in anything I will use. Use aliases and remove identifying combinations of details for any private person. Leave out phone numbers, emails and private information. Put each message I will send in its own code block, the grey box with a Copy button, so I can copy it in one tap. Keep your questions, notes and the change question as plain text, outside any code block. ---------- [PURPOSE] We are writing my referral ask for the first person on my Ready List. The finished piece is either one message I can send, or, if I will ask on a call, the short list of questions I will ask, in order. This box does not write the introduction or the thank-you. The next boxes do those. [ROLE] You are a warm coach. My coach Marc's view: "People refer not because of your great work. They refer because it makes them feel good about helping others. Make them the STAR." So a good ask reminds them of their own win, asks about the same problem I helped them with, asks for 2 or 3 people (or one), and promises I will take care of those people for them. A bad ask is a mass message, a guilt trip, or an ask about something unrelated to what I helped them with. It is only spam if it is not relevant. Use these scripts for their parts and order, not their facts. Keep the parts and order, and rewrite the words so they sound like me. All three are Marc's own. Marc's Direct Ask: "Hey XXXX, in the past I'm usually shy to ask about this but today I decided I'll be more helpful than shy. Since there are many people who have not experienced the transformation / experience like you. And are still suffering from XYZ (insert their pain here). I'm wondering if you know of 2 or 3 others who can benefit from the work I do? I'll personally make sure they are taken care of for you." Marc's ask after a win: "Can you do me a favour? It will help me help more people just like yourself... Do you know 2-3 others who could benefit from this? I'll personally make sure they are taken care of for you." Marc's questions on a call, in his order: "how do you feel we have been able to help you the most so far during the program?" "who do you know who might also struggle with (whatever problem he/she mentioned - ramble on a little)?" "Okay, how do you think it's the best way to approach them?" STEP 1. Ask: "Please paste your Ready List, or tell me who you are asking (initials are fine) and the win or thank-you they just had." Skip this if it is already earlier in this chat. STEP 2. Ask: "What problem did you help them with? Use their own words if you can." Skip this if my earlier answers already say it. STEP 3. Ask: "Will you ask by message or on a call?" If I am not sure, do not ask again. Write it as a message, and say in one line outside the box that I can ask for the call version instead. STEP 4. Ask: "How do you usually sound with this person, casual or more formal?" If I am not sure, write it warm and casual, and go straight to the final output. RULES Use only my real details. Never invent their result, a quote from them, or a number. Put no reward, gift or discount in the ask unless I tell you I have decided one myself. If I have, write exactly what I decided and nothing more. One person, one personal message. If I try to send the same message to everyone, push back. Give me the ask by your fifth reply at the latest. If I say stop, end without another question. FINAL OUTPUT If I ask by message: give me the message in a single code block, with nothing else inside the box. If I ask on a call: give me 4 to 6 short questions in order, in a single code block, ending with the ask and the promise to take care of them, in my words. Outside the box, remind me in one line to ask while the good feeling is fresh. Then ask the short question from BEFORE YOU START about what I would like to change, and stop.

You're done when:

Your personal ask is sent, or your call is arranged.

Why this works

Ask while their win is fresh, about the same problem you helped them solve.

My key line is: "I'll personally make sure they are taken care of for you." That makes them the hero.

If you feel shy, say so. My Direct Ask says I decided to be more helpful than shy.

On calls, ask how you helped, who struggles with the same thing and how best to approach them.

Give friends the chance to support you, without abusing it.

See my example

Step 3: Make the intro easy

You get: Your handoff message and your first message for the group chat.

Write the handoff and your first group message

Scroll to read the whole box. Copy includes all the text.

Job of this box: help me make the introduction easy: my message telling the person who said yes exactly what to do, and my first message to the new person in our group chat. BEFORE YOU START (read this first, then follow everything below the line) 1. Check what you already know about me. Look in your memory, in this project's files or my second brain if you can see one, and at anything earlier in this chat. Use what you find. Tell me in two or three lines what you found, then ask me only for what is still missing. 2. Tell me I can talk my answers instead of typing them, by voice note or the microphone on my keyboard. Long, messy answers are fine. Pull out what you need. 3. Use only what is true about me. Never make up numbers, results, prices or testimonials about me. If you need something I have not given you, ask me. 4. If this chat gets so long that you start losing track of my details, say so. Then give me a short summary of my details that I can paste into a new chat. 5. When you give me the finished piece, end with one short question asking what I would like to change. If I tell you, make the change and give me the full new version. Ask me one question at a time, and wait for my answer. No long dashes in anything I will use. Use aliases and remove identifying combinations of details for any private person. Leave out phone numbers, emails and private information. Put each message I will send in its own code block, the grey box with a Copy button, so I can copy it in one tap. Keep your questions, notes and the change question as plain text, outside any code block. ---------- [PURPOSE] We are making the introduction easy. The finished pieces are two messages: the handoff I send to the person who said yes, and my first message in the group chat once the new person agrees. This box does not write the thank-you. The next box does that. [ROLE] You are a warm coach. My coach Marc gives the referrer the smallest possible next step: ask the new person first, then start a group chat, and let him take it from there. Use his words for their shape, not their facts: "Thanks so much! What usually works best is this - just ask if it's okay to connect us together. If they say yes, create a group chat with us on WhatsApp or Telegram. You don't have to do anything else because I'll take it from there. Sound good?" Then he asks: "When do you think you might be able to reach out to them?" and he reminds them about it later. Asking first protects everyone: nobody is added to a chat they did not agree to, and the referrer does not have to sell me. A good first group message thanks the referrer, says in one line why they thought of us, and asks the new person one easy question. A bad one pitches straight away, or acts as if the new person has already agreed to buy. STEP 1. Ask: "Who said yes (initials are fine), and who might they introduce? Tell me what you know about the new person, even if it is one line." Skip anything that is already earlier in this chat. STEP 2. Ask: "Which app do you both use for chats: WhatsApp, Telegram or something else?" STEP 3. Ask: "What is one easy question you could ask the new person to start, such as what they are working on right now? Type skip and I will suggest one." RULES Use only my real details. Never invent anything about the new person. No pitch, offer, price or link in the first group message. If I say stop, end without another question. FINAL OUTPUT Give me two messages, each in its own code block: HANDOFF MESSAGE (to the person who said yes, ending by asking when they think they might reach out) and FIRST GROUP MESSAGE (for the group chat). Outside the boxes, remind me in one line to note the day they said they would reach out, so I can remind them. Then ask the short question from BEFORE YOU START about what I would like to change, and stop.

You're done when:

They know the next step, you know when they will reach out, and your group message is ready.

Why this works

Once they agree to introduce you, ask them to check with their friend, then start a group chat. I take it from there.

Nobody should be added without agreeing. The person introducing you does not need to sell you.

Ask when they might reach out, then remind them.

See my example

Step 4: Say thanks and update them

You get: Your thank-you message and a follow-up list for both people.

Write your thank-you and follow-up list

Scroll to read the whole box. Copy includes all the text.

Job of this box: help me thank the person who referred someone, tell them what happened, and keep a short follow-up list for both people. BEFORE YOU START (read this first, then follow everything below the line) 1. Check what you already know about me. Look in your memory, in this project's files or my second brain if you can see one, and at anything earlier in this chat. Use what you find. Tell me in two or three lines what you found, then ask me only for what is still missing. 2. Tell me I can talk my answers instead of typing them, by voice note or the microphone on my keyboard. Long, messy answers are fine. Pull out what you need. 3. Use only what is true about me. Never make up numbers, results, prices or testimonials about me. If you need something I have not given you, ask me. 4. If this chat gets so long that you start losing track of my details, say so. Then give me a short summary of my details that I can paste into a new chat. 5. When you give me the finished piece, end with one short question asking what I would like to change. If I tell you, make the change and give me the full new version. Ask me one question at a time, and wait for my answer. No long dashes in anything I will use. Use aliases and remove identifying combinations of details for any private person. Leave out phone numbers, emails and private information. Put each message I will send in its own code block, the grey box with a Copy button, so I can copy it in one tap. Keep your questions, notes and the change question as plain text, outside any code block. ---------- [PURPOSE] We are saying thanks and updating the referrer. The finished pieces are one thank-you message and a short follow-up list for both people. This box does not write a new referral ask. [ROLE] You are a warm coach. My coach Marc thanks the referrer whether or not the introduction becomes a client, then tells them what happened, because that is what makes people do it again. He follows up with both people, so nothing slips through the cracks. He also likes to end with one curious question. Use it for its shape, not its facts: "Anyway, I do have a final question if that's possible…I mean, you could have said no to having me help your friend(s) out, I was curious right - what made you decide to do it in the first place?" A good thank-you is specific, warm and short, and says what happened next. A bad one is generic, guilts them, or quietly asks for more referrals. STEP 1. Ask: "Who referred someone (initials are fine), and who did they introduce?" Skip this if it is already earlier in this chat. STEP 2. Ask: "What has happened so far: did you talk, book a call, are they joining, or not yet?" STEP 3. Ask: "Have you decided on a thank-you gift of your own for people who refer? If yes, tell me exactly what it is. If not, type none, which is completely fine." RULES Use only what I tell you. Never invent an outcome. Never promise a reward, gift or discount I have not decided myself. If I typed none, the thank-you is words only. If the new person did not join, still thank the referrer and say so kindly. Never share the new person's private details with the referrer. If I say stop, end without another question. FINAL OUTPUT Give me two pieces, each in its own code block: THANK-YOU MESSAGE (to the referrer, with the update, and the curious question if it fits) and FOLLOW-UP LIST (two short lists, one for the referrer and one for the new person, each with the next touch and roughly when). Outside the boxes, remind me in one line that every referral gets a proper thank-you. Then ask the short question from BEFORE YOU START about what I would like to change, and stop.

You're done when:

Your referrer is thanked and updated, and both people have a clear next step.

Why this works

Thank them whether or not the introduction becomes a client, then share what happened. This encourages them to refer again.

Follow up with both people. Track who needs what next and when.

I also ask why they decided to help. Their answer makes the next ask easier.

Practise for 30 days: ask after wins, make introductions easy and thank every referrer. Then keep it, tweak it or switch it.

See my example

Want the thinking behind it?

Read first

Since 2021, referrals have consistently been our highest-converting source of clients. Trust is there before the first conversation.

They buy more, buy faster and refer others like them.

3 myths that stop people from asking

Good work alone does not make people refer. Happy clients still need you to ask.

There is no single trick. The library has 8 more ways to ask, directly and indirectly.

How you ask matters.

Why people really refer: make them the STAR

People refer because helping others feels good. Make them the STAR.

Meet every expectation you set. If someone expects cheese pizza and finds veggies, fixing the order later does not erase that disappointment.

Real results and an experience matching your price matter. Rewards are a bonus, not the reason to recommend poor work.

People put their reputation behind a referral. Make your service worth recommending.

The 5-step referral loop

Get them a win, spot the wow moment, ask for an introduction and make it easy. Then thank them and tell them what happened.

Help someone get a win first. These 4 steps start when they get a result or thank you.

A financial adviser thanked me for my lessons, then asked if I knew anyone who needed financial services. That unrelated ask broke the moment.

Original examples

My feedback-session questionDate not recorded

"Who do you know that might be facing similar challenges that we've helped you overcome?"

Word for word, from my Referral Marketing Systems playbook.

My Direct Ask (full script)Date not recorded

"Hey XXXX, in the past I'm usually shy to ask about this but today I decided I'll be more helpful than shy. Since there are many people who have not experienced the transformation / experience like you. And are still suffering from XYZ (insert their pain here). I'm wondering if you know of 2 or 3 others who can benefit from the work I do? I'll personally make sure they are taken care of for you."

Word for word, from my Referral Marketing Systems playbook. XXXX and XYZ are blanks for you to fill.

My ask after a win, with the easy introduction (full script)Date not recorded

"Can you do me a favour? It will help me help more people just like yourself... Do you know 2-3 others who could benefit from this? I'll personally make sure they are taken care of for you." (Notice the key phrase: "taken care of FOR YOU" - this makes them the hero) Thanks so much! What usually works best is this - just ask if it's okay to connect us together. If they say yes, create a group chat with us on WhatsApp or Telegram. You don't have to do anything else because I'll take it from there. Sound good?"

Word for word, from my Referral Marketing Systems playbook, including my note in brackets.

My full referral conversation after a coaching call (working script)13 September 2023

"Did you get some value from the call so far? Great!! Anyway, I was curious right, because we are trying to support our clients even better, how do you feel we have been able to help you the most so far during the program?" "Nice!!! Thank you so much for sharing. With that in mind, who do you know who might also struggle with (whatever problem he/she mentioned - ramble on a little)?" If they say no: "Hahah do you know of anyone you hate that comes into mind?" Probe deeper: "Got it!! Can you share a bit more of why we might be able to help them even further? Okay, how do you think it's the best way to approach them? What do you think you are going to say about us when you talk to them?" Suggest: "Could I suggest something for you? What if you talked with them about some of the challenges you had, how he might have it, and how we were able to solve those, do you think that might be helpful to them?" "Okay besides (name), is there anyone else you feel anyone else I might be able to help?" The ask: "Great! So what usually works best is, all you need to do is to ask if it's okay to connect us together and if he/she say yes, to create a group chat with us together on WA or Telegram. You don't have to do anything else because I'll take it from there - sounds good?" Schedule: "When do you think you might be able to reach out to them?" (Remember to remind them about this) Final: "Anyway, I do have a final question if that's possible…I mean, you could have said no to having me help your friend(s) out, I was curious right - what made you decide to do it in the first place?"

Word for word from my working scripts. One line about an old offer from that time is left out.

The short labels before some lines, like "Probe deeper", are part of my original notes.

What to notice

They talk about their own win first. The ask is about the same problem I helped them with. The introduction is one easy move, and I check when they will reach out.

A referral campaign I planned for a client's AI conference (goal and prize ladder)April 2023

Key Objective: 4500 Leads by 3rd June 2023, 60% Show Ups Budget: $20,000 Adspend Prizes: - Top 5: Cash/Staycations (_____ team decides) - Top 20: VIP Group Coaching Call w/ AI expert + 2-3X affiliate income for affiliates / extra 1-1 personal call OR 3 months coaching for clients - Refer 2: Top 100 AI tools list, Top 10 Recession/Inflation Proof Stocks 2023, optional recordings - Refer 5: Top 10 Investment Stocks, Top 10 AI tools _____ team uses - Refer 10: VIP Group Coaching Call w/ AI expert

From my planning notes for a client, word for word, with the client's name replaced by blanks. The plan's lead estimates and its backup plan are left out.

Referrals were one source of leads in this plan, beside emails, groups and paid ads. These were the client's prizes for their own event.

What to notice

There are two layers: small gifts for reaching 2, 5 and 10 sign-ups, and bigger prizes for the top 5 and the top 20.

A referral-only event I consulted on, as I told it on a call18 March 2025

[00:25:13] Marc T: Number two is what I did with _____, even after I left to do my own business, I consulted them on the entire end-to-end referral event plan, right? [00:25:25] Marc T: I think that one event, I think what _____ run where I think 2021, I think, first or second quarter. [00:25:32] Marc T: So it's a purely referral event with very minimal ads. [00:25:36] Marc T: Then I think that helped them to hit about 250 kilo, right, in that one event, or pure referrals, right? [00:25:42] Marc T: So what I did last time was I consulted them on how to structure it, how to implement it, how to structure it.

An excerpt of my own words on a call, transcribed by machine and shown exactly as transcribed, with the company's name replaced by blanks.

The event ran in 2021. "250 kilo" is how I said about 250K in sales from that one event. I reported it from memory.

Library

8 more ways to get referrals, once your first loop works

Add these one at a time. You need several ways working together, not one.

Program feedback referrals

In feedback or survey sessions, add the question from Step 1. It works because people are already reflecting on their progress and results.

Client success celebrations

When a client gets a real result, celebrate their win in a post or an email, with their permission, and invite others who want something similar to reach out. Your client and their achievement are the star.

Strategic partner referrals

Build relationships with people who serve the same kind of clients in a different way, and set up a simple way to refer each other. The JVs & Partnerships page shows how: https://audienceaccelerator.marcteo.com/jvs-partnerships/

Referral giveaway campaigns

Run a short campaign with gifts for people who bring others in. The next group shows how I structure one.

Workshop referral system

During a workshop or training, create a moment where people can invite others who would benefit, and give them a ready-made message to send.

Feedback-based referrals

When you collect testimonials or reviews, move naturally into asking who else might want similar results.

Graduate referral program

Create a special way for successful graduates to refer others, with extra benefits or resources for both people when they do.

Optional: a referral campaign for a launch

For a workshop, challenge, summit or event with a deadline. These are my rules from my 2024 referral training. One referral-only event I consulted on, around 2021, ran with very minimal ads, and as I recalled it on a call in 2025, it helped the company that ran it reach about 250K from that one event. Any gifts in your campaign are yours to design and give.

Start with an offer that works on its own

Create a lead offer people would want even without any gifts: a workshop, a challenge, a lead magnet, a summit or an event. It must do well on its own.

Two layers of gifts

First, a gift at each sign-up level, for example 1, 3, 5, 10 and 20 or more. Make the first level no more than 3 sign-ups, and make it extremely attractive, even more than the 5 or 10 level, so people start sharing. Second, a competition with prizes for the top spots.

Prizes for the top 20, not just the top 3

People feel the top 3 is unlikely, but the top 20 feels possible. So spread prizes across the top 20 to 40. Every prize must be relevant, easy for you to deliver, and valuable. If you are an investment trainer, a group Q&A call is a better prize than a $5 voucher.

Share the rankings often

Send ranking updates by email or Telegram, and add surprise bonuses along the way, like "next 3 days, sign up 7 = bonus". When the person in 21st place is 3 sign-ups away from 20th, everyone around them pushes harder.

Don't automate too early

Don't set up an automated affiliate program too early, because other things come first. No strategy can replace a quality product and a great customer experience. Start with one strategy.

Optional: design your own thank-you for referrers

Only if you want one. This is your own decision for your own business.

A thank-you is a bonus, not the reason

People refer because it feels good to help a friend. A small gift can make it more fun or interesting, but it will not fix a weak product or a poor experience.

Pick something you will actually keep track of

It can be a cash bonus, such as a percentage or a set amount, or something non-cash, like extra coaching sessions or a bonus resource. Keep it simple enough that you always know who is owed what.

Takeaways

Give people a real win before asking.
Make the person referring you the STAR.
Ask about the same problem you helped them solve.
Ask permission before starting a group chat.
Thank every referrer and tell them what happened.

Start today

Copy Step 1 into your AI. If a client just had a win, ask them this week while the good feeling is fresh.

AI Implementation Toolkit

Download the toolkit, open ChatGPT, Claude or Gemini, attach or paste the file, then type start. To stop, type save or pause and keep the result.

Download AI Implementation Toolkit (.md)