Use this when meeting people helps you connect, online or in person.
In 4 steps, choose your room, prepare your hello, check who you can help and practise your invitation.
You leave with a room choice and conversation cards.
Choose somewhere you would enjoy even without getting a client.
Connect first. Sell nothing unless someone asks.
How to use this page
Tap Copy in each step.
Paste it into your AI (ChatGPT, Claude or Gemini) and send it. Use the same chat each time.
Answer its questions. Tell your AI what to change, then keep the result.
Step 1: Select your room
You get: A Room Choice with your next visit and why the room fits.
Choose your one room for this month
Scroll to read the whole box. Copy includes all the text.
Events & Communities, Step 1 of 4: help me choose the one room I will show up in this month.
BEFORE YOU START (read this first, then follow everything below the line)
1. Check what you already know about me. Look in your memory, in this project's files or my second brain if you can see one, and at anything earlier in this chat. Use what you find. Tell me in two or three lines what you found, then ask me only for what is still missing.
2. Tell me I can talk my answers instead of typing them, by voice note or the microphone on my keyboard. Long, messy answers are fine. Pull out what you need.
3. Use only what is true about me. Never make up numbers, results, prices or testimonials about me. If you need something I have not given you, ask me.
4. If this chat gets so long that you start losing track of my details, say so. Then give me a short summary of my details that I can paste into a new chat.
5. When you give me the finished piece, end with one short question asking what I would like to change. If I tell you, make the change and give me the full new version.
Ask me one question at a time.
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[PURPOSE]
We are choosing ONE event or community, online or in person, where I will show up this month to meet the kind of people I help. The finished piece is a short ROOM CHOICE. This box does not write my "what I do" line, my questions or my invite. Those come in the next steps.
[ROLE]
You are a warm, practical coach who helps me pick a room I would happily go to anyway. A good choice is one real, named room that I would benefit from even if nobody there ever became a client, that meets again and again, where most of the people are the kind of person I help, and that is not full of people offering the same thing as me. A bad choice is a random one-off event, a room I would dread going to, a room full of my competitors, or a room picked only to hunt for clients.
My coach Marc's rule, which you follow: he dislikes networking and used to hide in the toilet during the networking part of events. What fixed it was only going to programs and events he already found interesting and useful, whether he signed up clients or not. He picks from three places: his interests and hobbies, something he already wanted to improve on, and masterminds and communities. This is Marc's story, not mine. Use it for the rule, never as my story.
STEP 1. Ask: "Who do you help, and with what? One or two lines is enough."
STEP 2. Ask: "Which events, groups or communities, online or in person, could you realistically go to or join this month? Name as many as you like, or type none."
If I type none, ask me, one at a time, what I enjoy doing or learning outside work, and then what I already want to get better at. Then suggest the kinds of rooms to look for, without naming a specific event or group as if you knew it exists, and ask me to come back with one or two real names. If I still have none, give me the ROOM CHOICE marked NOT READY with one action: find two real rooms to compare.
STEP 3. Ask: "Which of these would you still be glad you went to, even if you never got a single client from it? Tell me why in a few words."
STEP 4. Ask: "For that room, tell me what you know: how often it meets, when it next meets, who mostly goes, and whether people offering the same thing as you go too. Type don't know for anything you are unsure of."
STEP 5. Recommend the one room that best fits Marc's rule, in two or three lines, and say what I still need to check. Ask: "Does that feel right, or would you rather pick another one?" Wait for my answer.
RULES
Use only rooms I name. Never invent an event, group, date, size or host. Mark anything I am unsure of as "to check" instead of guessing. One room only. Helping out in the room, for example as an emcee, assistant, logistics helper or committee member, is an optional bonus that gets me more time with people. Mention it once, never as a requirement. If I say stop, end without another question.
FINAL OUTPUT
Give me one ROOM CHOICE in a single code block, the grey box with a Copy button, with exactly these labels and nothing else inside the box: WHO I HELP, MY ROOM, WHY I WOULD GO EVEN WITHOUT A CLIENT, HOW OFTEN IT MEETS, NEXT DATE I WILL GO, MY KIND OF PEOPLE THERE, PEOPLE OFFERING THE SAME THING AS ME, OPTIONAL WAY TO HELP OUT, STILL TO CHECK. Write "to check" for anything I have not confirmed. Outside the box, say in one line that I can paste this at the start of the Step 2 box when I am ready to prepare how I connect. Then ask the short question from BEFORE YOU START about what I would like to change, and stop.
You're done when:
You know your room, how often it meets, your next visit and why you would go anyway.
Why this works
Pick one room you would happily go to even if nobody there ever became a client.
Choose from your interests, hobbies, something you want to improve, or masterminds and communities you want to join.
Check that the room meets regularly and most people there fit your audience. I like self-improvement and personal-growth groups because people there are usually driven.
Avoid groups offering the same thing as you. People may feel you are trying to take over.
Optional: help as an emcee, assistant, logistics helper or committee member. You spend more time with people and become a friendly face.
See my example
Step 2: Connect like a friend first
You get: Your Connect Card with a "what I do" line and five openers.
Write your "what I do" line and your five openers
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Events & Communities, Step 2 of 4: help me write my "what I do" line and five easy openers, ready to practise out loud.
BEFORE YOU START (read this first, then follow everything below the line)
1. Check what you already know about me. Look in your memory, in this project's files or my second brain if you can see one, and at anything earlier in this chat. Use what you find. Tell me in two or three lines what you found, then ask me only for what is still missing.
2. Tell me I can talk my answers instead of typing them, by voice note or the microphone on my keyboard. Long, messy answers are fine. Pull out what you need.
3. Use only what is true about me. Never make up numbers, results, prices or testimonials about me. If you need something I have not given you, ask me.
4. If this chat gets so long that you start losing track of my details, say so. Then give me a short summary of my details that I can paste into a new chat.
5. When you give me the finished piece, end with one short question asking what I would like to change. If I tell you, make the change and give me the full new version.
Ask me one question at a time.
No long dashes in anything I will use.
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[PURPOSE]
We are preparing how I connect with people in my room: five easy openers to start a conversation, and one short "what I do" line for when someone asks. The finished piece is a CONNECT CARD that I will practise out loud. This box does not write my qualifying questions or my invite.
[ROLE]
You are a warm coach who helps me sound like a friendly human, not a salesperson. A good CONNECT CARD has simple questions anyone can answer, and a "what I do" line that is short, casual and makes the other person curious to ask more. A bad one sounds like a pitch, is long or robotic, oversells me, or claims results I do not have.
My coach Marc's rules, which you follow: do not sell anything during the event unless they ask. Be a friend and a human first. Smile, keep open body language, acknowledge what they share, then ask a follow-up question or share my own experience.
Marc's own openers, which I may keep or change to suit my room:
What's your name?
How did you hear about this event?
Who did you come here with?
What made you decide to attend this event?
So what was your biggest lesson so far?
Marc's formula for the "what I do" line:
"Oh! I currently help/coach/train (target audience) on (topic of your biz), and have been doing it for the past (XXX years)."
A good line says what I do, who I help, the topic, how I help them, a touch of credibility and something interesting about me, without getting long. Marc's own line, for its shape only, never its facts:
"So I used to be in the tech startup space advising founders, but now I focus on helping folks grow their lifestyle business while having fun"
One extra tip, which is not from Marc's own playbook: to join a group that is already talking, stand at the edge, listen until I catch the topic, and speak in a pause with a line about their topic, not my business.
STEP 1. Ask: "Please paste your ROOM CHOICE from Step 1. If you do not have one, type none." If I paste it, use it and do not re-ask what it answers. If I type none, ask: "Which room are you going to, and who do you help? If you have not chosen a room yet, just say so." If I have not chosen a room, do not ask again: write MY ROOM as "not chosen yet" and write openers that would work in most rooms.
STEP 2. Ask: "When someone asks what you do, what do you usually say today? Write it the way you would say it out loud."
STEP 3. Ask: "How long have you been doing this work, and what is one true thing about you that people find interesting? Type skip for either."
Then write my CONNECT CARD.
RULES
Use only my real facts. MY ROOM is only ever a real event, group or community I named. Never put who I help, my audience or a type of person under MY ROOM, in the first card or in any new version. If my line needs a number I have not given, such as years, leave a blank like [years] for me to fill. Keep the "what I do" line to one or two sentences I could say in one breath. No pitch, no price and no call to action in any line. If I say stop, end without another question.
FINAL OUTPUT
Give me one CONNECT CARD in a single code block, the grey box with a Copy button, with exactly these labels and nothing else inside the box: MY ROOM, MY 5 OPENERS, MY "WHAT I DO" LINE, A SHORTER VERSION, IF THEY ASK MORE, JOINING A GROUP THAT IS ALREADY TALKING, REMEMBER. Under IF THEY ASK MORE, give one or two true details I can add. Under JOINING A GROUP THAT IS ALREADY TALKING, give one short line in my words about their topic, such as "Sorry to jump in, I overheard you talking about [topic]. I have been wondering about that too." Under REMEMBER, write: be a friend first, no selling unless they ask, then a follow-up question or my own experience. Outside the box, say in one line that I can paste this at the start of the Step 3 box. Then ask me to say my "what I do" line out loud a few times and tell you which words do not sound like me. That is the short question from BEFORE YOU START about what I would like to change. Then stop.
You're done when:
Your "what I do" line and five openers sound natural when you say them aloud.
Why this works
Smile, listen and share about yourself too. Do not sell unless they ask.
Try: "What's your name?" Or: "How did you hear about this event?"
"Who did you come here with?" Or: "What made you decide to attend this event?"
"So what was your biggest lesson so far?" Follow their answer with another question or share your own experience.
Practise saying who you help, your topic and how you help. Add a little about your experience without overselling yourself.
See my example
Step 3: Qualify with curiosity
You get: Your Qualify Card with questions, short answers, gentle follow-ups and a polite way to leave.
Prepare your qualifier questions and short answers
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Events & Communities, Step 3 of 4: help me prepare the questions that show if someone is my kind of person, and short answers for when they ask me things.
BEFORE YOU START (read this first, then follow everything below the line)
1. Check what you already know about me. Look in your memory, in this project's files or my second brain if you can see one, and at anything earlier in this chat. Use what you find. Tell me in two or three lines what you found, then ask me only for what is still missing.
2. Tell me I can talk my answers instead of typing them, by voice note or the microphone on my keyboard. Long, messy answers are fine. Pull out what you need.
3. Use only what is true about me. Never make up numbers, results, prices or testimonials about me. If you need something I have not given you, ask me.
4. If this chat gets so long that you start losing track of my details, say so. Then give me a short summary of my details that I can paste into a new chat.
5. When you give me the finished piece, end with one short question asking what I would like to change. If I tell you, make the change and give me the full new version.
Ask me one question at a time.
No long dashes in anything I will use.
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[PURPOSE]
We are preparing the middle of my conversations: a few natural qualifier questions, one question that assumes everything is going great for them, gentle follow-ups for when it is not, a polite way out when someone is not a fit, and short answers to the questions people often ask me. The finished piece is a QUALIFY CARD. This box does not write my feedback offer or my meetup ask.
[ROLE]
You are a warm, curious coach. Good qualifying feels like a normal chat, not an interview. Good answers share enough to be useful, keep the other person curious, add a little credibility only where it fits, and end with a question back. Bad qualifying digs for a problem that is not there, fires question after question, or turns into a pitch. Bad answers ramble, teach everything, or claim results I do not have.
My coach Marc's lines, for their shape. I may keep them or rewrite them in my words:
Qualifiers: "So what do you do?" "How long have you been doing this?" "Do you like it?" "Do you (insert activity relating to your business here), or are you planning to?"
If they are not a fit: politely say I would like to meet and connect with other folks too, ask to swap social media contacts, and wish them well before leaving.
The question that assumes everything is going amazingly for them: "So, how's business? Everything going amazing & great for you lately?"
If they say yes: "Nice! So what are you focused on when it comes to (your topic) these days?" Then believe them. Never dig for a problem.
Only if they say "not really": "Ah! What do you mean?" "What is your biggest challenge now?" "Why do you think that's the case?" "Got it! Have you tried other ways to solve it before, and how were they?"
A short answer Marc wrote as an example for someone in health, for its shape only, never its facts: "How many clients do you see a day? Quite good! About 5-10 each day, and I really enjoy it because I can see many of my clients transforming their entire health & lives in just a few weeks. I also have a membership chat for every client so I am constantly interacting and helping all of them."
STEP 1. Ask: "Please paste your CONNECT CARD or ROOM CHOICE from the earlier steps. If you have neither, type none." If I paste one, use it and do not re-ask what it answers. If I type none, ask: "Who do you help, and with what?"
STEP 2. Ask: "What is one thing your kind of person usually does, or is planning to do, that tells you that you could help them? Marc helps people with their business, so his question is "So, how's business?""
STEP 3. Ask: "When people find out what you do, what are the two or three questions they ask you most?"
STEP 4. Ask: "For each of those questions, what would you honestly say? Rough notes are fine."
Then write my QUALIFY CARD.
RULES
Use only my real facts and numbers. If an answer needs a number I have not given, leave a blank like [number] for me to fill. Keep each short answer to two or three sentences and end it with a question back to them. Never write a question that pushes for pain or tries to make them feel bad. If I say stop, end without another question.
FINAL OUTPUT
Give me one QUALIFY CARD in a single code block, the grey box with a Copy button, with exactly these labels and nothing else inside the box: MY QUALIFIERS, MY "EVERYTHING GOING GREAT?" QUESTION, IF THEY SAY YES, IF THEY SAY "NOT REALLY", IF THEY ARE NOT A FIT, MY SHORT ANSWERS. Under MY QUALIFIERS, give three or four questions. Under IF THEY SAY "NOT REALLY", give three gentle follow-ups. Under MY SHORT ANSWERS, give each question people ask me, then my short answer with a question back. Outside the box, say in one line that I can paste this at the start of the Step 4 box. Then ask the short question from BEFORE YOU START about what I would like to change, and stop.
You're done when:
You have natural questions, brief answers, follow-ups for challenges and a polite way out.
Why this works
Ask what they do, how long they have done it and whether they like it.
Ask about an activity linked to your business, including whether they plan to try it.
Briefly answer their questions and mention your experience where it fits. Then ask something back to keep the conversation going.
Ask whether things are going well. If they say yes, believe them and ask what they are focused on.
Never invent a problem.
If not, ask what is difficult and what they have tried. If you cannot help, leave warmly and swap socials if appropriate.
See my example
Step 4: Invite them to a coffee chat, or leave warmly
You get: Your feedback offer, meetup ask, warm exit and follow-up message.
Write your feedback offer, meetup ask, exit line and follow-up
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Events & Communities, Step 4 of 4: help me offer honest feedback, ask for a coffee chat, leave warmly, and follow up.
BEFORE YOU START (read this first, then follow everything below the line)
1. Check what you already know about me. Look in your memory, in this project's files or my second brain if you can see one, and at anything earlier in this chat. Use what you find. Tell me in two or three lines what you found, then ask me only for what is still missing.
2. Tell me I can talk my answers instead of typing them, by voice note or the microphone on my keyboard. Long, messy answers are fine. Pull out what you need.
3. Use only what is true about me. Never make up numbers, results, prices or testimonials about me. If you need something I have not given you, ask me.
4. If this chat gets so long that you start losing track of my details, say so. Then give me a short summary of my details that I can paste into a new chat.
5. When you give me the finished piece, end with one short question asking what I would like to change. If I tell you, make the change and give me the full new version.
Ask me one question at a time.
No long dashes in anything I will use.
Put each message I will send in its own code block, the grey box with a Copy button, so I can copy it in one tap. Keep your questions, notes and the change question as plain text, outside any code block.
If I mention a resource or anything I will share that may not exist yet, check whether it is ready now or coming later. If it is coming later, say early access once it is out, never that they get it straight away.
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[PURPOSE]
We are preparing how my conversations end: the line where I offer honest feedback, one short insight, my ask for a coffee chat or call with two real dates, a warm exit line, and the message I send afterwards. The finished pieces are an INVITE CARD and one FOLLOW-UP MESSAGE.
[ROLE]
You are a warm coach who keeps this human and never salesy. Good: I ask permission before giving feedback, share one useful insight without teaching a whole lesson, ask for the meetup casually with two real dates, and leave warmly whatever happens. Bad: pitching my program at the event, teaching for twenty minutes, pressure, fake scarcity, or dates I have not checked.
My coach Marc's own lines, for their shape only. Keep the parts and their order, but rewrite the words so they sound like me and fit my work:
Feedback offer: "Understand! I understand what you mean because I have personally experienced it myself/worked with clients with those exact challenges before, would you like some honest & direct personal feedback / is it okay if I share with you some ideas that could work?"
His one insight, for a person without a clear plan: "So basically right, currently the biggest thing that is missing which is a common mistake by most (audience) is not having a clear game plan that is personalised to you in the first place. That's because if you are not clear, we won't know whether the strategy is useful for you in the first place or not. Getting clear of your gameplan can require a few things, such as knowing your risk preferences, what you enjoy, what are your non-negotiables, etc. Once you get clear of your gameplan, everything else should be pretty simple by now. Does that help?"
Meetup ask: "Hmmm, in the interest of time, if you want right, we can chat about this in detail separately. I can share with you some personalised resources and run you through the entire model that can work for you too. Would you be keen?"
If they say yes: "Do you want to share your Instagram/LinkedIn account or is your phone number fine?" Then: "Great! I should be free either (date & timing) or (date & timing) next week. Would you be free then?" Then: "Nice! I will send you a calendar invite & link to ask some questions to maximise our time further k!"
Leaving: "Anyway! Unfortunately I'll need to go off soon, but if you want some personalised help & resources on (your business topic), happy to connect on social media! What do you think?"
STEP 1. Ask: "Please paste your QUALIFY CARD or any earlier card from this chat. If you have none, type none." If I paste one, use it and do not re-ask what it answers. If I type none, ask: "Who do you help, and with what?"
STEP 2. Ask: "What challenge do you hear most often from your kind of person, and what do you usually see is really missing for them?"
STEP 3. Ask: "If they say yes to a chat, what could you genuinely share with them or walk them through on that chat? Type none if you are not sure yet."
STEP 4. Ask: "Which two dates and times next week could you really do for a coffee chat or a call? Type don't know and I will leave blanks."
Then write my INVITE CARD and FOLLOW-UP MESSAGE.
RULES
Use only my real facts. My one insight is three or four sentences, says what is missing without teaching the whole fix, and ends with a check like "Does that help?". The meetup ask is casual and easy to say no to. No price, no program name and no pitch in any line. Leave blanks like [date] for anything I have not given. If I say stop, end without another question.
FINAL OUTPUT
First, give me one INVITE CARD in a single code block, with exactly these labels and nothing else inside the box: FEEDBACK OFFER, MY ONE INSIGHT, MEETUP ASK, IF THEY SAY YES, LEAVING WARMLY. Under IF THEY SAY YES, give my line asking for their contact, my two dates, and my line about the calendar invite. Then, in its own code block, give me my FOLLOW-UP MESSAGE: two or three short, warm lines I send soon after we meet, while the conversation is still fresh, that remind them where we met, confirm the date we agreed and say the calendar invite is on its way. Outside the boxes, remind me in one line to practise the meetup ask out loud before the event. Then ask the short question from BEFORE YOU START about what I would like to change, and stop.
You're done when:
You have practised your feedback offer, meetup ask with two dates, warm exit and follow-up.
Why this works
Ask permission before giving honest feedback. Wait for their yes.
Share one insight about what is missing or needs work. Do not teach a whole lesson there.
My insight is often that they need a clear game plan made for them.
If they seem open, invite them to a separate coffee chat for more detail and resources chosen for them. Make saying no easy.
Get their contact details, offer two real dates and send the calendar invite soon after.
End warmly either way. You can still connect on social media.
See my example
Want the thinking behind it?
Read first
This path can take the most resources: time, energy and sometimes money. Done well, it is usually the most effective.
One good conversation can lead straight to a 1:1 meetup with a potential client.
Why it works: people trust you more the more time they spend with you
The more time people spend with you, the more they trust you.
At AsiaWorks in 2019, I made my money back by connecting with coursemates who later bought from me.
My personal trainer went to Toastmasters weekly, sharing his health and fitness lessons on stage. People began asking for advice and coaching.
He also uses this approach in a business networking group.
My confession: I dislike networking
I used to hide in the toilet during networking, then come out for the talks.
Now I choose programs and events I already find useful. That makes conversations feel less forced.
AsiaWorks helped me either way. My trainer would have become a better speaker even without finding clients.
How it works: choose your room, then Connect, Qualify and Invite
Choose your room, then Connect, Qualify and Invite. Connect as a friend and see whether you can help.
Offer feedback, then ask for a coffee chat if they are open to it. Otherwise, leave warmly.
Conversations may not go smoothly. Practice helps.
This tip for joining a group is not from my own experience. Listen at the edge, then join their conversation during a pause.
If they do not open up after a minute or two, use your warm exit from Step 4.
Original examples
Why this works: AsiaWorks and my trainer Daniel (the full opening of my Events & Communities playbook)Date not recorded
While this strategy might take the most amount of resources, it's usually the most effective because, when done well, can usually lead directly to the 1:1 meetup with you (aka a potential client).
You see, the best way to build authentic connections is to actually build REAL genuine connections.
What do I mean?
If you want more people to follow, subscribe, and/or buy from you, the best way is for people to trust you.
And the more people "hang out" with you, the more likely they'll do this!
For example, when I attended a Personal Development program called AsiaWorks back in 2019:
I "made back" my money not just by implementing the strategies I learnt but by authentically connecting with, engaging & then selling my coursemates!
Another example is my personal trainer, Daniel:
When Daniel started and wanted to get more clients, he simply did one thing:
Attend Toastmasters every week.
All he did each week was to go up on stage, and share his passion & lessons on health and fitness, and people naturally asked him for advice & coaching afterwards.
Today, he is part of Business Networking International, a business networking group using this same exact strategy to get more clients every single month.
And so, we'll be covering how you can use this strategy for yourself too.
Me at the AsiaWorks personal development program in 2019.My personal trainer, Daniel, in a gym.
Words exactly as in my Events & Communities playbook. Only the bold and italic styling is removed.
The AsiaWorks program was in 2019. The two photos above are the ones in my playbook. The first sits under the AsiaWorks story and shows me at that program in 2019. The second sits under Daniel's story and shows my personal trainer, Daniel, in a gym.
My toilet confession, and how I choose my rooms (full section)Date not recorded
Huge disclaimer: I dislike networking.
Previously, I used to hide in the toilet during the networking segments of the event, and only go out when it was time for the speaking segment.
I did not like that I had to "force" myself to talk & connect with people.
And the way I overcame this struggle was simply this…
To attend programs & events I already found interesting & beneficial regardless of whether I "signed up" clients or not!
For example, when I attended AsiaWorks, I knew I'd benefit whether I got customers or not (it was a personal development program),
For Daniel, he would have improved as a speaker even if he did not get any new clients too.
And so, my best recommendation when selecting your events & programs to attend is to find those that you would HAPPILY go to:
- Your interests & hobbies
- What you already wanted to improve on
- Masterminds & Communities
Next, I'll also highly recommend to do this:
Join communities that hold recurring meetups instead of one off events.
This is because the more people see you, the more likely they are to trust and eventually buy from you.
You'll also build stronger connections & rapport through a community rather than a one-off event.
Something I found helped a lot is also this:
Instead of simply being a passive participant, see if you can potentially volunteer to help or support these communities.
This way, you are likely to get more "airtime" with participants, and you'll also be one of the first few points of contact for new members as well. This way, it's easier for you to build rapport & trust with everyone!
Some examples of roles you can volunteer for is to be an emcee, assistant, logistics, committee member, etc.
And lastly…
Find events & programs whose majority of participants fit your target customer profile.
This is also why I prefer to join groups that are into self improvement & personal growth because the people there are generally driven already.
For example, if you target entrepreneurs, obviously you should find groups that mostly consist of entrepreneurs too!
Of course, do not join groups of your competitors or those who're offering the same stuff as you; you might be seen as trying to hijack the community etc.
Words exactly as in my Events & Communities playbook. Only the bold and italic styling is removed.
Be a friend first: my rapport and qualifier questions (full section)Date not recorded
Quick tip: do NOT sell your stuff during the event & program (unless they ask).
Personally, what has worked very well for me is to authentically connect with others, which is simply about asking where they are from, what they do, sharing about myself, etc.
Remember, be a friend & human first.
Depending on the nature of the event & program, you should find that there are cases where it'll be extremely easy to strike up conversations (e.g. programs with lots of activities, small group sessions, etc.).
If you are not very used to conversing with new people, simply memorise some of these questions to use in advance, and you can even practice saying it out by yourself so you can communicate more effectively during the events too!
And overall, here are the 5 steps to "networking" when it comes to making meaningful conversations:
1. Rapport
At this stage, you probably won't know the other party very well yet.
Here, you simply ask simple ice-breaker questions to get to know the other party. For example:
- What's your name?
- How did you hear about this event?
- Who did you come here with?
- What made you decide to attend this event?
- So what was your biggest lesson so far?
Whatever they say, remember to smile, have open body language, acknowledge whatever they shared, and either respond with a follow-up question or share your own experience!
2. Qualifiers
After you build the initial connection with the other party, it's time to determine whether they fit into your target customer profile. Remember to do this in a natural & conversational manner.
- So what do you do?
- How long have you been doing this?
- Do you like it?
- Do you (insert activity relating to your business here), or are you planning to?
- Are you (insert activity relating to your business here?)
If they fit into your target customer profile, carry on the conversation.
If they do not, simply politely mention you'd like to meet & connect with other folks, ask to exchange social media contacts, and you can wish them well before leaving.
Words exactly as in my Events & Communities playbook. Only the bold and italic styling is removed.
When they ask what I do, or ask me for advice (full section)Date not recorded
If they start asking you questions, it means you have built enough rapport & trust for them to get to know you further; it's a good sign! Here's how to respond to them.
If they ask YOU what you do:
Here, you want to have a prepared response that not only clearly communicates what you do, but adds curiosity for the other party to find out more. You'll want the following elements:
- What you do (e.g. I currently help/coach/train)
- Who you help (aka target audience)
- Topic of your business
- How you help them (aka dream outcome)
- Credibility (how long you've been doing this for, who you work with etc.)
- Something interesting about you
Remember not to oversell yourself, become too "robotic" with what you say, and have an overly lengthy introduction here!
The statement should look something like this:
"Oh! I currently help/coach/train (target audience) on (topic of your biz), and have been doing it for the past (XXX years)."
Examples:
- "I have been studying crypto for the past 10 years, so I decided to create a community & start coaching folks on how to invest in it"
- "I am a Health Coach who integrates both science-based practices and energetic healing to help my clients"
- "I previously ran a startup which I recently sold, but I now run a SEO agency & training company to help others do what I did too"
- "I am a full time software engineer, but my main passion is coaching others on how to invest with crypto futures + stocks".
- "I used to be an auditor in a Big 4 company, but now I am a financial planner mostly focused on helping female working professionals to get clear & take charge of their finances.
- "So I used to be in the tech startup space advising founders, but now I focus on helping folks grow their lifestyle business while having fun"
Again, I highly recommend you to rehearse saying this statement so often such that communicating it casually becomes second nature to you.
And remember, the goal of your introduction is to have them ask you questions to find out more.
If they ask you questions or advice:
Here, the goal is not to reveal too much about what you do or to keep rambling, but share enough that answers their question, but keeps them interested and wanting to know more.
At the same time, you can continue to add some level of credibility here, but in an indirect & casual manner.
You'll also follow up with questions to continue the conversation further while finding out more about them.
Examples:
- How's the market now? Currently not too bad, while I have been telling my clients to build their watchlist of their top 3-5 stocks because of the upcoming elections, but also to be very aware of the triggers of an upcoming market drop. Are you also investing right now?
- How many clients do you see a day? Quite good! About 5-10 each day, and I really enjoy it because I can see many of my clients transforming their entire health & lives in just a few weeks. I also have a membership chat for every client so I am constantly interacting and helping all of them.
- Isn't the market very competitive? Not really for me! That's because I only specialise in helping female working professionals, because I found from my clients that many FAs tend to provide more generic advice that's not specialised for the needs of a woman in Singapore. Do you have a FA too?
Just a quick rundown of some elements of Credibility you can add throughout your conversation (only if relevant, do not force it in):
- How long you have been in your business
- How many people you have helped
- How many years you have been working on your craft
- Who you have learnt from
- Which companies you used to be in (if relevant)
- Stories of how you've helped your clients
Words exactly as in my Events & Communities playbook. Only the bold and italic styling is removed.
The first five example lines are ones I wrote for other kinds of businesses. The last line is my own. The three advice answers are also examples for other businesses, so borrow their shape, not their facts.
Finding their challenge without digging for one (full section)Date not recorded
Now, if you already find that the other party is your target client profile, and they have been asking you questions, you can move towards understanding what their specific challenges are.
You start by asking a casual question that'll naturally lead up to finding out more about their challenges.
Tip: to do this, ask a question which assumes that everything is going amazing and wonderful for them.
Examples:
- So, how's business? Everything going amazing & great for you lately?
- So, do you currently invest? The market have so many opportunities these days. Should be doing really good these days right?
- So, do you already have a financial planner? Everything should be taken care of nicely in terms of your finances then?
- You look really fit! You must exercise & take care of your health a lot right?
If they say "yes" (unlikely), I'll simply ask what they are working on/focused on these days and go on to Probing questions after. For example:
- Nice! So what are you focused on when it comes to (your topic) these days?
- Cool! Everything going perfect with that so far?
If they say "not really" or anything similar, they are acknowledging they might need some support, this is when you can start asking probing questions:
- Ah! What do you mean?
- What is your biggest challenge now?
- Shucks! Why do you say that things are not going well?
- Why do you think that's the case?
- What do you think is the biggest thing missing now?
- Got it! Have you tried other ways to solve it before, and how were they?
Words exactly as in my Events & Communities playbook. Only the bold and italic styling is removed.
From honest feedback to the coffee chat, and how I leave (full section)Date not recorded
Once you understand their challenges further, and confident they are likely to say yes to meeting up with you, you can share the following:
- Understand! I understand what you mean because I have personally experienced it myself/worked with clients with those exact challenges before, would you like some honest & direct personal feedback / is it okay if I share with you some ideas that could work?
If they say yes, you simply share your honest & direct feedback about what they are doing or not doing that is preventing them from getting the results you want.
While this is a time to share your expertise and show that you are good at what you do, do not go super deep or teach into detail here; simply share insights and perspectives about what is missing or what they need to work on.
For example:
- So basically right, currently the biggest thing that is missing which is a common mistake by most (audience) is not having a clear game plan that is personalised to you in the first place. That's because if you are not clear, we won't know whether the strategy is useful for you in the first place or not.
Getting clear of your gameplan can require a few things, such as knowing your risk preferences, what you enjoy, what are your non-negotiables, etc.
Once you get clear of your gameplan, everything else should be pretty simple by now.
Does that help?
If they seem open to what you have to say, you ask for the meetup in a non salesy & casual manner:
- Hmmm, in the interest of time, if you want right, we can chat about this in detail separately. I can share with you some personalised resources and run you through the entire model that can work for you too. Would you be keen?
If they say yes, depending on whether you feel you can immediately confirm the details of the meetup or not:
- Do you want to share your Instagram/LinkedIn account or is your phone number fine?
- Great! I should be free either (date & timing) or (date & timing) next week. Would you be free then?
- Nice! I will send you a calendar invite & link to ask some questions to maximise our time further k!
Once that is there, you either proceed with the conversation as per normal, or you can end it off as well.
To Leave the Conversation
Whether the other party is your ideal client or not, you are running out of time, or you already confirmed the meetup and need to go off, you can leave the conversation by saying something like this:
- Anyway! Unfortunately I'll need to go off soon, but if you want some personalised help & resources on (your business topic), happy to connect on social media! What do you think?
More often than not the party will say yes and even if you don't get a client, you'll get an additional follower & subscriber :)
Final Note
Lastly, remember that most conversations will usually not go as smoothly as expected.
Be prepared to adapt your behaviour based on whatever's happening. The more you do this, the better you'll get.
You got this!
Words exactly as in my Events & Communities playbook. Only the bold and italic styling is removed.
What to notice
The order matters: permission to give feedback, one insight that ends with "Does that help?", then the casual ask, then contact details and two dates. Leaving warmly works whether they said yes or not.
Takeaways
Choose a room you would enjoy even without getting clients.
Return to rooms with your kind of people and no competitors.
Believe people who say things are going well.
Offer feedback before inviting them for a coffee chat, and always leave warmly.
Try this consistently for 30 days, then keep it, tweak it or switch it.
Start today
Check when your favourite room next meets, then copy Step 1. Before going, practise your "what I do" line until it feels natural.
AI Implementation Toolkit
Download the toolkit, open ChatGPT, Claude or Gemini, attach or paste the file, then type start. To stop, type save or pause and keep the result.